There’d be a day he’d find a hum to help him muffle the past. Like thunder underwater, he hears it fading and feels no pain at all.

This is the birth of a new man.

I can’t tell if I’m starting to accept this as my life. There’s something here that’s holding me down and I can’t quite figure out what it is and how to get rid of it. I’m riding a wave that’s only getting worse with time.

My life has become pretty much just video games, coffee, and isolation. The first two have always been dear friends of mine but the third took a little getting used to. It seems to be going better than I thought it would, even though I broke it for a few days. It has helped me find myself a bit so I might have to keep up with it until I manage to find a few more pieces in this never ending puzzle.

The only way to confirm the existence of the world around me is through the tips of my fingers and the skin of my feet. These useless eyes can’t pick out a single grain among a field of wheat, they can only see vague shapes and colors, but maybe they just pick up on a simpler beauty in life. I can’t read the signs in the stars but I can see the shape of the sun and the glow of the moon. The walls of trees are just sheets of green life growing out of my reach.